If you had asked me before yesterday whether I was more in favour of religion or capitalism, I probably would have chortled that capitalism IS the only truly global religion, and gone on to say that religion has advantages such as community building and spirituality, that are notably absent from capitalism.
But yesterday was Easter Sunday, when our glorious leaders have decreed that all big shops shall closeth, and those who wish to spend their easter weekend gardening, or laying a wooden floor in their son’s room because the moths have eaten the wool carpet, can go to small independent shops, but the retail park is an abomination on that day, and therefore closed. Which annoyed me so much I was forced to conclude that apparently, I favour our right to express our capitalist beliefs at the time and location of our choosing, over and above the right of a tiny, but bossy, minority to make us stay at home, or go to the pub, or failing that, a church.
So, having forgotten the shopping anomaly of Easter Sunday /Passover ( I live in a Jewish Area, which explains apparently, why my local Asda didn’t sell crumpets shaped like Christmas Trees this year, as advertised on TV, but doesn’t explain why they didn’t sell crumpets in the shape of a Star of David ( a no-brainer, surely, in our age of religious tolerance? They could have done a pack of moons and stars, and created a real message of Midwinter peace) I drove to Wickes, only to find the barriers up. Strange, I thought, I’ll try B&Q : there was a car park, and tumbleweeds. Well Lidl was open, but, like I say, Tumbleweeds. Staples, Argos, CarpetRight, Poundland, Currys/PCWorld, Carphone Warehouse, Burger King, all were closed. I saw a man on foot stopped staring open mouthed at the closed retail sheds, as if he couldn’t understand what had happened. We haven’t seen scenes like this since the aftermath of the Tottenham Riots in 2011! I saw other poor souls driving in and then out, not sure what to make of it. I even went to Ikea, just to see. Yes, even the 24 hour Tesco’s on the North Circular.Was.Closed.
Next year, if they haven’t taken away this idiotic anomaly, I am going to use Easter Sunday to film the final scene of my (imaginary) Zombie Apocalypse film.